Pinocchio (2022)
#MRFLIXTER
I recently watched the new Pinocchio remake now available on Disney Plus. The 2nd of 3 Pinocchio films scheduled for release this year is the live-action version of the beloved animated Disney classic based on the fairy tale novel The Adventures of Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi. This is my SPOILER-FREE REVIEW because if you've seen the original you know what happens. Is this film a masterpiece of puppetry or is it a tangled mess of strings and things?
Director Robert Zemeckis returns to another remake of a classic film after doing The Witches in 2020. The screenplay is also by Zemeckis and Chris Weitz. I'll start with the good things. I like how Zemeckis has a more grandiose vision than most current filmmakers breathing new life into the old story. Pleasure island looks amazing. However, due to sloppy writing, the pacing and the tone are all over the place. Instead of feeling like a cohesive story with world-building and character development, it jumps to four key plot points (The When You Wish Upon A Star scene, the Puppet Show, Pleasure Island, and Monstro) in very jarring manners. The I Got No Strings On Me song and dance, for example, feel soulless. It's not fun like the original. That's the problem with the live-action remakes of animated Disney classics. No fun. They're usually a too dramatic darker take on things. It feels like they just go through the motions hitting said key plot points minus the heart and fun. More time could have been taken to build up the characters and the plot instead of how the film looks. Unfortunately, style is put over substance. I had the same problem with the Witches remake mainly because the puppets were replaced with CGI.
I think Tom Hanks is severely miscast as Gepetto because he plays the role of a European caricature much as he did in the Terminal. Why give him such a sad backstory and not make it the heart of the film? The same goes with his relationship with Pinocchio, there's no emotional connection.
I like the casting of Benjamin Evan Ainsworth as Pinocchio. His joyful naivety perfectly embodies the character. His reveal to Gepetto is funny too. I would have preferred a real puppet and animatronics over an entirely CGI character because it adds to the soullessness of it all.
I don't like the look of Jiminy Cricket. He looks like an alien but Joseph Gordon Levitt is good in the role. There's something very unsettling about his look. It's also unfortunate how he's completely useless in this. He serves no role in the story by being sidelined due to the circumstances. He doesn't even sing When You Wish Upon a Star. Very disappointing indeed.
I love the new look for Figaro. That cat is so cute.
Keegan Michael Key gives a larger-than-life performance as Honest John. I don't like the look of him though. The animation is so inconsistent. Some characters have a cartoonish look while others look more realistic. It's distracting and off-putting. And there's a Chris Pine joke? Really? Lorraine Bracco is the voice of Sofia, a seagull who becomes friends with Jiminy. Nothing against her or her performance but is the sassy seagull necessary? Cynthia Erivo is The Blue Fairy. She's great in the role but sadly she's barely in it. That's more of a writing issue. It's not her fault she's sorely underused. Luke Evans is The Coachman. Instead of being an imposing, dominant figure, he comes off as an empty shell of the original character. The same goes with Giuseppe Battiston as Stromboli. Their forgettable performances get lost in all the chaos around them. Kyanne Lamaya is Fabiana. A new character who is a puppeteer for Stromboli's show. There's a subplot about how she wants to start her own show that goes nowhere. Lewin Lloyd plays Lampwick. Why does he have a Brooklyn accent? Is he from America? When does this take place? His Donkey transformation scene was done well though.
Overall, this is a tangled mess of strings and things. Everything is way too convenient in this film. Some examples are how they escape Pleasure Island, how Jiminy Cricket and Pinocchio find Gepetto in the boat or even how they escape Monstro. I get how they can't have all the kids smoking but why switch it to root beer? They don't even say jackass. They just give the kids a sugar high and let them smash things. It seems like they could have done more Monstro too. His part feels so rushed and tacked on because it has to be in the film. Too much time is devoted to new characters that contribute nothing to the plot. I don't like the look of Monstro either. He looks like the Kraken. The same goes for most of the characters. This movie is creepy but not in a good way. The unsettling character designs are distracting. Also, how can a Puppet cry? He's not a real boy yet so he wouldn't have the parts to do that. Why does he have the same power as Rapunzel? Why is Pinocchio a superhero now? At one point he even does the cliché superhero landing. Really? Why leave the ending ambiguous? I can't bring myself to recommend this to anyone. It's not worth a Disney Plus subscription just to see this and if you already have it stick with the original animated classic. There's a scene that sums up the whole film when Pinocchio stops in the street to stare at a big pile of steaming hot horse manure….yeah pretty much. And remember, when you wish upon a star it'll make you wonder why is this film so bizarre?
Grade Small Popcorn
